God, I don’t want to die. WHO WILL TAKE
MY PLACE IF I DO? OH God I miss my parents my Mom and my Dad and Brian and
Mart and Norah and Jeremy and Jade(?) and Jenifer and Seth and Bobby (even
though he was just here!) and Christian and someone I can talk to and be
understood. None of the guys on the boat know much English and I don’t know
much Hidi(?) or Ti(?) to ask their opinions and to tell stuff like this to.
I’ve never felt this much grief or sorrow
before, WHY! Why did a little kid have to shoot me today? His high pitched
voice still lingers in my head. Father, forgive him and any of the people on
this Island who try to kill me, and especially forgive them if they succeed?
What makes them become this defensive and hostile? Legends passed down through
the millennia of their escape from a slave ship? Why does this beautiful place
have to have so much death here? Last night, I had what I’d call a vision as
I’ve never had one before – my eyes were shut but I wasn’t asleep and I saw a
purple hue over the Island-like city as a meteorite or star fell to it and it
was a frightening city with jagged spikes and I felt distressed(or disturbed?).
Then a different light, a whitish light filled it and all the frightening bits
melted away. LORD is this Island Satan’s last stronghold where none have heard
or even has a chance to hear your Name?
Lord strengthen me as I need your strength
and protection and guidance and all that you give and are. Whoever comes after
me to take my place, whether it’s after tomorrow or another time, please give
them a double anointing and bless them mightily.
The plan for tomorrow is to drop me at the
cache and then the boat will leave for the day, returning at night – I’m at
peace with that plan because A) Pieter V. from South Africa had said the reason
the Jarawa didn’t kill him was that he got dropped with no boat nearby and B)
if it goes badly on foot, the fishermen won’t have to bear witness to my death.
Alternate…is to either wait another time –
and go back to Port Blair without any documents or stay in the safehouse again
and put all at risk (why are we so afraid of death?) or get deported. If I
leave, I believe I’ll have failed the mission.
Now that I remember it, after I got shot by
that arrow and it was in my Bible, I gave it BACK! Man, I should have snapped
it.
Perfect Love casts out fear. LORD Jesus,
fill me with your perfect love for these people!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11/16/18
0620
Woke up after a fairly restful sleep,
heading to Island now. I hope this isn’t my last notes, but if it is, to God be
the glory.
One thought occurred to me last night: only
young adults were seen, and kids, but no elderly—are they separated and must
stay on the shore? Are the elderly in the jungle?
I’m heading back to the hut I’ve been to. Praying it goes well.
-John Chau
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